Tuesday, June 5, 2012

This Means War on DVD

I was disappointed with this movie. It could have been such a good one, but I kind of suspected it might rub me the wrong way. This Means War is about two secret agents who fall in love with the same girl and then battle it out to try to make her fall in love with one of them over the other. I was expecting a rather light-hearted, funny action romance, but with this type of film, you usually get a bit of garbage, too. Sadly, with romantic comedies, I find myself going into them wondering if I can ignore the sexual stuff enough to like the movie. And in this one, the answer was "no."

The movie has some good things going for it. It has a unique premise. It's really funny, even at the totally inappropriate parts. It has a good actress: Reese Witherspoon. Chris Pine (Kirk in 2009's Star Trek) and Tom Hardy (in Inception) star opposite her. I don't know them as well, but you gotta love a British accent!

But then it also has raunchy language and demeaning sex talk (it's rated PG-13), and (SPOILERS!!!!) the bad boy wins the girl! I was rooting so much for Hardy's Tuck (and not just because of the accent!). He is the better choice. He is the one who is interested in her from the beginning. He's sweet and genuine and romantic. Pine's FDR, on the other hand, sleeps around and can't stand Lauren at first. Of course, I knew immediately that the storyline would push FDR, even though it pretended to be about Tuck. And sure enough, a not-so-subtle emphasis on FDR followed.

(SPOILERS continue) But to the end, I hoped she would end up with Tuck, simultaneously knowing she wouldn't. And when she didn't, I was so disappointed. FDR didn't deserve her. I hated the whole process of how she ended up with him, too. Her sex-driven older sister gives her horrible advice, including sleeping with the two men to determine who's better. Lauren (who seems like a decent girl who doesn't do that sort of thing) sleeps with FDR and subsequently believes him to be The One. (I hated the message that sent.) Then she decides, against her better judgment, that she should at least try the other guy. Tuck proves she doesn't deserve him. Fortunately for Tuck, his ex-wife and son wait for him at the finish line, suddenly interested in him because it turns out he's a spy rather than a travel agent. (Are people really that shallow?) And unfortunately for this story's happy ending, it turns out that FDR really is a scumbag who'd slept with Tuck's wife at one point in their shared history. But of course, that revelation is just to add a last touch of humor, and we all know that Lauren changed his life and set him on the straight path. (Hollywood must think we are stupid.)

I was so, so disappointed in this movie. If you want to see a movie about spies and romance, go re-rent Mr. & Mrs. Smith from your rental store's Favorites section. (Or dig it out of the back of your collection!) There's more heat and much more class.


  1. I was intrigued by this movie because of its premise and by the lead actors. Now, however, I won't bother. Just the fact that the "bad boy" winning the girl would've ticked me off, let alone everything else you mentioned. Thanks for the warning.

    1. Yeah, I thought you wouldn't like this movie because of all that. It's too bad that the trashy stuff is there because, like you said, the premise is really interesting.


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